Here We Go Again!

So, I'm not sending out a mass e-mail to everyone and their dog telling them I'm trying to lose weight again and to check this blog.  I feel like if I tell too many people I'm trying to get my act together, I'll lose it again. I don't know why I'm like that.  I guess I just back away when I feel too much pressure.

That being said, the hypocrite in me is keeping this blog public.  I'm cool with comments and heck, I might send out a mass e-mail sometime soon, I'm just curious to see how far I can get without telling too many people.

The last time I posted I talked about being pregnant again.  Well, my little munchkin is 17 months old today (I guess it's yesterday now :) and I'm really quite embarrassed to say that I'm pretty much at square one (still).  I've been doing great for the last month or so.  I've been playing basketball about 3 days a week with my girls, we have a treadmill that I use (a lot) and I've drastically changed my diet.

I think the thing that took me this long to get my butt in gear was the fact that I was in denial.  I had gestational diabetes again with my 2nd pregnancy (that didn't do it), and my weight fluctuated between 197 and 206 or so (that didn't do it either). When you have gestational diabetes they're on you like a mother to check your blood sugars, and control your diet.  When the baby comes and they aren't my back so much, I go a little crazy with the goodies (bad, bad Em-Cat).

I had my cholesterol tested a few weeks ago and it wasn't good news (that did it) and I had this feeling that if I didn't get my weight under control, I was going to go down a bad road and just get worse.  I want to be there for my kids and especially I want to be a good example for them.  Last fast Sunday I fasted and prayed that the Lord would help me lose a significant amount of weight before I got pregnant again and you know, by the end of the day I felt stronger and more power with this journey I'm about to embark on.  I felt that God was with me and that I could do this and He would help me.  I've had my moments of weakness since then, but I make it a continual matter of prayer and I feel Christ's strength with me more and more.

My family has never been blessed with willpower, but I feel like with the Lord's help, I'll be able to do this.  I'm done being self destructive.  I'm ready to not just follow the Word of Wisdom by not drinking coffee, tea or alcohol and not smoking, but by taking care of my body and being a steward over this vessel God has given me.  I have to be a good example to my children and heaven knows I need the energy to run after them! And who wouldn't want to "receive health in their navel and marrow to their bones"...and "run and not be weary and...walk and not faint?" It sounds pretty good to me right about now!

So here's how I've been doing lately.  A month ago I went to the doctor and they weighed me and said I was 197.  I know I weighed more than that before, but I had been playing basketball for a while and dropped a few pounds before that weigh in.  I weighed myself about a week ago and was down to 191 so I estimate I've lost about 10 lbs so far.  My plan is to gear myself up for a modified Fat Flush Plan (there are a few things I can't do because I get kidney stones) because it has worked for me before and I like to think of it as a cleanse.  Once I've done that for about a month, I'll go back to my sensible meal plan I'm following now.  I usually have a protein shake for breakfast, salad for lunch and a healthy dinner (i.e.chicken, fish, salad, some sort of bread/starch item) with little healthy snacks scattered throughout the day along with my daily chocolate fix...I wouldn't be able to do this if I didn't give myself a controlled amount of chocolate every day :)

Wish me luck and say a prayer...Heaven knows I'm going to need it!

Love,
Em