Are you kidding me?!?!

I've been super good at changing my diet and really incorporating exercise into my lifestyle. Everyone I see comes up to me and tells me how great I'm looking and that I'm shrinking. Well, I stepped on the scale this morning and I've gained 7 POUNDS! 7 POUNDS PEOPLE! I'm so discouraged. I just want to throw in the towel and eat a cookie.

Ugh! I won't eat a cookie, but I'm super angry and discouraged. You know what I did after stepping on the scale? I got on the treadmill. So, yes I am going to keep going, but I think I'm going to stay away from the scale FOREVER! So stupid.


- Lovingly posted by EmCat

I Love it When I like How I Look in a Picture...

When I saw this photo, I was shocked at how thin I looked! And I really liked it. It's actually a great pic of all of us, except little Baby A, he had a tough time this entire vacay...poor kid. I didn't realize we had a group of guys hanging out behind us. It always makes me wonder how many pictures I've shown up in the back ground of. :)



As you can see, we've been traveling. We just got home from about 10 days in Utah. Let me tell you, it was a great trip. Every fun thing there is to do there, we did. I'll have you know, I did really great with sticking to my diet, with a few little exceptions. I'm kinda proud of myself. It showed me that I can do this, and I won't let my guard down even when I'm on vacation.

We're back home and into the grind. I now it's time to start getting into a workout routine. I'm not quite sure what I want to focus on though. Hmm, decisions, decisions...

- Lovingly posted by EmCat

I Still have a TON of Work to do

Yes I'm wearing pants that haven't fit me since the day I bought them, but I gotta do something about those rolls! Ugh!!!

On a happier note, I had a great workout today. I alternated sprints and walking on the treadmill and I felt great afterward. It was such a fun, good workout. Each day I feel more and more energy and my workouts are becoming much more enjoyable. I'm feeling really good right now :)

- Lovingly posted by EmCat

Woo-hoo

I'm out of the 180's!!!! I'm super excited. Now just 39 lbs to go!


- Lovingly posted by EmCat

I'm Still Here...

Me and "J" during chubbier times
...and yes I'm still working on losing weight.  We're on the tail end of a marathon of guests at our house.  My brother and his family came in early June.  He left his 12 year old daughter here for a month then my oldest sister came down and picked her up.  We dropped them off at the airport Sunday and now today my good friend is here to stay.  My poor husband hasn't been able to walk around in his underwear for so long...I just know he's going to break into tears at any moment.
The diet is going great. I've been doing the full blown Fat Flush Plan for about a month and I feel awesome!  I am able to wear clothes I haven't worn in years and I have so much more energy.  I actually feel like a real mom.  I can run after the kids and not get winded.  My tummy is going down and hopefully soon people won't ask if I'm expecting.  I'm able to bend over much easier as well.
There are a few discouraging things though:  First, either my scale is broken or I'm just not losing weight that fast.  It's hovering around 180.  I can't seem to get past that blasted number.  I feel like I've lost more weight than that.  Who knows, maybe I'm gaining muscle, which is good.
Second, very few people seem to notice I'm losing weight, either that or they just aren't going to say anything.  In my opinion the best thing you can say to a fat girl like me is "You look great! Have you lost weight?" It makes you want to keep going!  Seriously, people I haven't seen in months aren't even noticing.  I guess I just haven't met that mark where it actually looks like it's coming off.  A friend of mine once told me a story of another friend of hers who was extremely overweight and had lost 5 lbs.  She was so discouraged that no one noticed, she quit her diet and gained even more than she lost.  Silly...I'm smart enough to know that 5lbs is not noticeable when you have a TON of weight to lose. So I guess I'll just keep plugging along even though it's been more than 20 lbs I've lost.
The third discouraging thing is that just in the last week I've had more kidney stones.  The worst thing you can eat when you get kidney stones is fruits and veggies because of the oxalates in them.  They bind with the calcium in your blood and form stones in your kidneys.  There's no way on earth I'm going to stop eating fruits and veggies, so I'm going to have to suffer through the kidney stones.  Ugh...oh well, hopefully they don't get to be too big!
Well, I haven't really weighed myself since the last discouraging weigh in, but I might do it some time soon.  Right now though, I'm focusing on how I feel and I feel good!  I guess that's most important! :) Peace out and healthy eating!
P.S here are a few recent photos of me! I think they give you an idea of how much better I'm looking, at least compared to the above photo :)








This is me trying to show you a tummy shot!




We've both grown. Him bigger me smaller.

Note to Self...

Don't ever weigh yourself the day before your period...period, no exceptions! You'll just look at the scale and say, "SIX POUNDS! HOW IN THE @&$!#%^*#+=£€¥!?);@- DID I GAIN SIX POUNDS? NOTHING I'M DOING IS WORKING I THINK I NEED TO GO EAT SOME CHOCOLATE CAKE!" but then I'll calm down and not really eat the chocolate cake because it would just make me feel worse about myself, so instead I'll choose some celery or something similarly annoying. And then the next day I'll start my period and realize that I'm just the queen of water-weight gain when hormones take control of my body.

*sigh*

Sometimes I just hate how my body is. I often find myself daydreaming about having long beautiful supermodel legs and a tiny waist with no stretch marks in sight, the double chin non-existent and the fat/bulky arms replaced with thin muscular beauties. Then I realize that isn't my reality. I need to change the things I have control over, (like the bulky arms and double chin) and get over the fact that my legs will never be long and though I can work on my stomach, it probably won't get to be the size of a supermodel. And the stretch marks? Well, they don't seem to be going anywhere.  I'm going to just have to remind myself of how great my two boys are and that I'd get them again and again if that meant having my little men in my life.

Even though I shouldn't compare myself to Hollywood Stars, I still have a few I would love to look like.  Here they are in no particular order:

I probably would look like that too if I had make-up artists, air brushing and plastic surgery at my fingertips. But it's nice to dream - right? 

A Big Slice of Reality

I'm going to approach this weight loss head on...so here's a big reason why I'm excited to lose weight...so my profile doesn't look like this anymore.  If you were wondering I'm the one on the right...The other two beauties are my sister-in-law and my mother-in-law.

Here We Go Again!

So, I'm not sending out a mass e-mail to everyone and their dog telling them I'm trying to lose weight again and to check this blog.  I feel like if I tell too many people I'm trying to get my act together, I'll lose it again. I don't know why I'm like that.  I guess I just back away when I feel too much pressure.

That being said, the hypocrite in me is keeping this blog public.  I'm cool with comments and heck, I might send out a mass e-mail sometime soon, I'm just curious to see how far I can get without telling too many people.

The last time I posted I talked about being pregnant again.  Well, my little munchkin is 17 months old today (I guess it's yesterday now :) and I'm really quite embarrassed to say that I'm pretty much at square one (still).  I've been doing great for the last month or so.  I've been playing basketball about 3 days a week with my girls, we have a treadmill that I use (a lot) and I've drastically changed my diet.

I think the thing that took me this long to get my butt in gear was the fact that I was in denial.  I had gestational diabetes again with my 2nd pregnancy (that didn't do it), and my weight fluctuated between 197 and 206 or so (that didn't do it either). When you have gestational diabetes they're on you like a mother to check your blood sugars, and control your diet.  When the baby comes and they aren't my back so much, I go a little crazy with the goodies (bad, bad Em-Cat).

I had my cholesterol tested a few weeks ago and it wasn't good news (that did it) and I had this feeling that if I didn't get my weight under control, I was going to go down a bad road and just get worse.  I want to be there for my kids and especially I want to be a good example for them.  Last fast Sunday I fasted and prayed that the Lord would help me lose a significant amount of weight before I got pregnant again and you know, by the end of the day I felt stronger and more power with this journey I'm about to embark on.  I felt that God was with me and that I could do this and He would help me.  I've had my moments of weakness since then, but I make it a continual matter of prayer and I feel Christ's strength with me more and more.

My family has never been blessed with willpower, but I feel like with the Lord's help, I'll be able to do this.  I'm done being self destructive.  I'm ready to not just follow the Word of Wisdom by not drinking coffee, tea or alcohol and not smoking, but by taking care of my body and being a steward over this vessel God has given me.  I have to be a good example to my children and heaven knows I need the energy to run after them! And who wouldn't want to "receive health in their navel and marrow to their bones"...and "run and not be weary and...walk and not faint?" It sounds pretty good to me right about now!

So here's how I've been doing lately.  A month ago I went to the doctor and they weighed me and said I was 197.  I know I weighed more than that before, but I had been playing basketball for a while and dropped a few pounds before that weigh in.  I weighed myself about a week ago and was down to 191 so I estimate I've lost about 10 lbs so far.  My plan is to gear myself up for a modified Fat Flush Plan (there are a few things I can't do because I get kidney stones) because it has worked for me before and I like to think of it as a cleanse.  Once I've done that for about a month, I'll go back to my sensible meal plan I'm following now.  I usually have a protein shake for breakfast, salad for lunch and a healthy dinner (i.e.chicken, fish, salad, some sort of bread/starch item) with little healthy snacks scattered throughout the day along with my daily chocolate fix...I wouldn't be able to do this if I didn't give myself a controlled amount of chocolate every day :)

Wish me luck and say a prayer...Heaven knows I'm going to need it!

Love,
Em